These words were found on and Old Cowboys’ Tombstone In Logan, Utah
FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE: 
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you could end up dead like me.
 
More Tombstone Epitaphs From The Old West
On a hanged man
Rab McBeth
Who died for the want
of another breath.
1791-1823
 
In a Georgia cemetery:
"I told you I was sick!"
 
Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising
 
Russell J. Larsen
Two things I love most,
Good horses and beautiful women
And when I die I hope that they
Tan this old hide of mine
And make it into a ladies riding saddle
So I can rest in peace between
The two things I love the most
 
On a Coal-miner
Gone Underground For Good
 
John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer.
And that is Strange.
 
On a dentist:
Stranger tread
This ground with gravity.
Dentist Brown
Is filling his last cavity.
 
On an Auctioneer:
Jedediah Goodwin
Auctioneer
Born 1828
Going!
Going!!
Gone!!!
1876
 
Here lies
Elizabeth,
my wife for 47 years,
and this is the first damn thing
she ever done to oblige me.